It’s Handled

its handled 2

“I hate my job, I don’t feel good, I’m always broke, I don’t like the way he/she treats me, my house is a mess, I wish I did this, I wish I did that”…and so on. Why do we choose to deal with things that we have the power to change?

Back in the day I had this rusty old Huffy bike that I absolutely adored. It was bubble gum pink and had shredded plastic strands dangling from the handlebars.  I was about 7 years old and had just moved from Philly to Goldsboro, North Carolina with my grandmother, Maggie…better known as “mom”. I was in my glory because unlike the city there was plenty of space for a venturous kid like me to coast with my rickety old bike.  I would imagine my pink bike was a car as I bumped up and down the dirt roads. I’d be checking my imaginary rear view mirror and honking my imaginary horn…I was in a world of my own. Everything about that bike was perfect to me except the fact that the back wheel had this annoying squeal that seemed to get louder and louder the faster I pedaled. I knew it was a problem but it wasn’t big enough to stop my fun.

All summer long I rode my rusty bike and dealt with that God awful noise; although I was only 7, I knew that my imaginary car needed a tune up. The noise started to get on my nerves and I knew I should have said something to mom because she would know what to do…but for some reason I never did. That was over 30 years ago and good ole Huffy is long gone…but still to this day, I still don’t know why I just didn’t speak up and handle that squeaky wheel.

Its been years since I’ve ridden a bike but trust me, I’ve dealt with many, many squeaky wheels in my day. Most of us don’t realize that the obstacles that stand between us and our happy place are the ones that we created and have the power to destroy. People would rather sit back and complain about a problem than step up and fix one. Don’t get me wrong…Olivia Pope “handles” problems but there’s always loads of drama that come along with that process.

Obviously, problems are going to rise that will be completely out of our control and we wont know what to do. In those instances, we need faith, patience and prayer for guidance. However, for those day to day, less than urgent problems that we like to complain about 24/7…handle it!

You say you hate your job? Try to remember that at one point, you liked it enough to impress the employer and you gladly accepted their offer. Same way in…same way out. Things probably happened that changed your feelings about the situation and that’s cool but instead of fantasizing about punching your co-worker in the throat, use that energy to conjure up an exit plan.  Changing jobs isn’t easy but when you are truly ready, you will put forth those same efforts that got you your current job to transition into a new.

You don’t like the way someone is treating you? Try to remember that you are the director of the “who ever you are” show and that no one can be a character in your story unless you give them a part. Same way in…same way out. At some point you liked them enough to give them a role on your show; unhappy with their performance? Kick em off the set. Wait, wait, wait…don’t go unfollowing or deleting folks! You’ve got work to do. It’s now or never…until you figure out how to handle people you are going to keep running into the same issues everywhere you go. You need to understand that the problem isn’t with them….it’s with you.  Stand up for yourself. Take charge of your show.

Just like my dear ole bicycle wheel that couldn’t oil itself…your problems wont vanish until you deal with them. Don’t spend another day complaining about something that you have the power to change. Get your Olivia Pope on… put in the work to get that new job, feel good about yourself, manage your money, surround yourself by genuine people who truly love you, clean up your place…live your dreams. Then at the end of the day, you can plop down on your cozy chair, sip on some classy wine and say to yourself “It’s Handled“.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/take-it-from-me/”>Take It From Me</a>

New Skin – A Kid Again

 

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True Stories by Frank Morrison

I’m blessed but my life isn’t perfect.  I have a few regrets and I have to admit that I’ve thought about what it would be like to get a do over…well, not a total do over – just a semi do over. I am a firm believer that our journey molds us into the people we become and whether we end up in a good place or bad, we got here because of the path we chose.  I have 6 beautiful children and an amazing husband so the thought of changing something that would ultimately risk us never crossing paths is unpleasant.  However, for the sake of entertainment, lets dream a little…shall we?

I’m not real sure if this counts as New Skin at all, but if I was going to be someone else for a whole year I would have to choose to be my 12-year-old self again. That would take me back to 1989 in about the 7th grade.  There’s a 26 year age difference between me and her and the woman today I am is quite different from this girl from long ago.  My, what a silly girl she was. If I could go back and be her all over again, I would take full advantage of my educational experience.

Instead of cracking jokes and passing notes I would come to math class on time and prepared and I’d finish all my assignments and I’d learn to appreciate things like long division, fractions and the order of operations.

Instead of day dreaming, I’d pay attention in my Language Arts class and I would listen and not sass the teacher when she’s offering me constructive criticism about my excessive grammatical & punctuation errors or my overuse of the ellipsis…

Instead of slouching in my chair with my arms tucked I would raise my hand in Social Studies class and ask more questions about things like economics and politics and I’d read the newspaper and be current on current affairs.

I’d hang out in the library and read more books. I’d join more clubs and be more athletic.  I’d be a cheerleader and go to football games and pep rallies. I’d run for student council and write for the school newspaper.  I’d draw more pictures and write more stories.  I’d be in a plays and sing for the Glee club.

I’d run cross-country, maybe play basketball too.

There wouldn’t be a limit to what I would do.

But during that year…and for once in my life,

I would live in the moment, and not fantasize

About being somewhere else…at another place or another time

I’d take advantage of the opportunities that were given to me…the world would be mine.

Who am I and why am I here?

Hi. I’m Khadijah and I am here because I love words and putting them together to create meaning.

I’m somewhat of a closet writer so you could say that this blog is about me coming out ;).  It’s always been my dream to publish some fiction stories and a few children’s books and I realize that it’s time to stop dreaming and start making a transition from this fantasy in-my-head world to reality.  I’m also using these exercises to keep me writing on a regular basis; I guess I’m sort of… I’m of challenging myself.  Another reason I’ve choosen to blog is because I believe writing is one of the best stress relievers. When I focus on my writing I don’t have time to stress. I’m gone.

On She Glitters…She’s Gold, I will be writing mostly about my sort of eventful life as a wife and mother of 6…need I say more? I’ll be writing primarily about the random happenings in our family (comedy, drama, reality gone wild) as well as about my personal views on parenting, marriage and relationships. I’ll also do my best to inspire and motivate other moms/parents/women like myself who understand that the struggle is really real.

On my blog I would like to connect with like minded regular people who wish to consume more from the internet than the crap that gets force fed to us through social media, aka: Kim Kardashians big butt.  I’m hoping that by writing on a more regular basis I can train myself to be more consistent with this and in other areas of my life.

This is how we do it!

New

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “New.”

new years!! 2015Since I was 15 I would watch the New Years Eve celebrations on television and be totally amazed at how much fun these people appeared to be having “Wow…its raining confetti!!”.  I would imagine that one day I would be in New York celebrating as the ball drops for the new year. Well…its been some time now and not only have I not partied in NYC on New Years Eve I but I’ve never partied on New Years Eve anywhere. In fact, many years I’ve slept right through it. No big deal.

Although partying in NYC still seems quite fabulous to me, I wouldn’t trade our traditional New Years toast with sparking apple cider and these guys for the world. These are 4 of my kids Olivia, Elaina, Myles and Mia and this was the very first photo I took in 2015. Happy New Year!

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Be the Change – Just Do It!

Be the Change

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Be the Change.”

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Since October 2014 I’ve been threatening to NOT make goals or resolutions for the New Year. Believe me, I understand the importance of creating guidelines and organized strategies to help us achieve success with our endeavors but I’ve done the whole “New Year New Me” thing in previous years and every attempt seems to have the same ending.  I get all gung ho about these super unrealistic goals I’ve created for myself then become completely overwhelmed and exhausted and what started off as a new, fun and exciting project for me usually ends up as an overwhelming and stressful experience that I can’t wait to end.

This year, I’ve decided to take a different approach to my goal setting. Change is an action word that requires us to ACT. I’ve spent countless hours writing goals, creating vision boards and discussing my plans with others;  all which are absolutely necessary to keep us focused and on track with our plans but if your a fabulous procrastinator like Khadijah, most of your goals only go as far as the paper you’ve written them on because you take like forever to get started.

Far too many times I’ve revisited my vision board or my list of goals only to realize that there was little to no progress over a significant amount of time. Its extremely discouraging to feel like you’ve failed yourself. Year after year I was pressured to set new goals on top of the old ones that were already suffocating me and I kept getting the same results.  The problem is that I’m excellent at organizing and planning but not so excellent at being consistent (there, I said it). Its taken a long time but now I realize that when I write that I will lose 15 pounds, I also need to write how I will lose 15 pounds…then actually put the pen and the twinkie down and go for a run (ugh), got it. No one ever said positive change was going to taste good, or look cute or feel awesome…its not easy but its always rewarding.

I’m excited to say that the first change that I made in 2015 was to quit talking about writing…and actually write. Period. With that, I bring to you “She Glitters…She’s Gold”, my personal blog and its only taken me 8 years of daydreaming and fantasizing to finally create! Its been a dream of mine for like ever and today…that’s right, today! January 2, 2015 I choose to show up for myself.

So there…I just did it! I changed!